Flylady and Perfectionism

Yesterday, I took Amelia to the airport to go visit Amy. This was not the original plan. Stephen was supposed to take her. But, alas, Stephen was not feeling well. So, Margaret, Eleanor, Charlotte and I piled in the car and made the trip. Now, in general, it would seem that a 4-hour, one-way trip that results in immediately turning around and coming back home would not be something to look forward to. BUT, in this case, it meant having 4 hours of uninterrupted conversation with Amelia. This is heavenly for two people whose primary love languages include quality time.

Yes, we talked for 4 solid hours. The little girls were sleepy and quiet in the back seat the whole way. Our topics ranged far and wide. But one topic that I’ve continued thinking about is perfectionism. We talked about how perfectionism sneaks around, disguising itself as something else. Consequently, many people are fooled into thinking that they are not “perfectionists.” (We SHEs know better!) But no matter what the disguise, or whether or not it is acknowledged for what it is, perfectionism negatively impacts so many people.

We talked about how very creative people don’t ever begin (or, if they begin, don’t finish) artistic projects because they are afraid that the project won’t be “perfect.” We talked about how, obviously, simple housework goes undone because washing a bowl and cup also means, to the perfectionist, that the whole kitchen must be scrubbed from top to bottom and he or she doesn’t have time for that. We talked about how perfectionism negatively impacts relationships when the perfectionist actually attempts to make a project “perfect,” steamrolling over anyone else involved in the project who has a different opinion. We talked about how perfectionism paralyzes the perfectionist from learning anything new that he or she can’t be sure to perform perfectly the first time.

I am very grateful for Amelia’s mature insights into how perfectionism impacts people’s lives. I am grateful for Flylady’s addressing the whole issue directly and persistently. I really think that perfectionism, in its inherent selfishness, gets in the way of love so often that we need to be hyper-diligent about recognizing it for what it is, especially in our families and in the church where perfectionism is hindering the advancement of the gospel.

This discussion of perfectionism is definitely one that will be continued.

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Tags: Perfectionism